GrammarBlog

As you can probably imagine, I'm not a fan of the Timbaland song, "The Way I Are".

Labels: grammar, HotForWords, lyrics, Timbaland, video

Labels: apostrophe, grammar, privatisation, the clash, train in vain, trains

Ladies, gentleman and pedants around the world: please vote now for the USA's worst grammar. From the National Grammar Day website, brought to you by SPOGG, the nominations for the worst grammar in the USA are:

1. Willow Park, Tx

Note the apostrophe catastrophes in “Tue’s” [sic] and Thur’s [sic]

2. Denver, Colorado

A sign on a barber shop used to say "It pays to look well."

(This was particularly amusing for the medical resident who sent it; he worked in the OB/Gyn department.)

3. Seattle, WA

From a Seattle Boat Show e-mail

As a recent visitor to the Seattle Boat Show [misplaced modifier], Gemeral Motors asked that I make contact with you and intorduce our Dealership.  We are located at 116th Ave NE on Auto Row in Bellevue. We offer the largest selection of Buick's, Pontiac's and GMC's in the Northwest and have access to Cadillac through our sister store.  We also have around 400 used vehicles to choose from. That is why we have been select by both Costco and Consumers Guide to handle their customers in this area, we would like to offer our assisntance to you as well. We are one of the very few dealers to offer to take a vehicle to you for a test drive. If we can be assistance to you in any way, please call me toll free at 800-XXX-XXXX or locally at 425-XXX-XXXX.  I hope to hear from you..

4. From Altoona, PA

A newspaper headline about the death of the former president of Indonesia:

5. The San Francisco Bay Area

An electric ticker sign used to update commuters along the highway recently displayed the following warning:  "Watch your step: platform slippery do to rain."

6. Columbia, S.C.

Proofread twice, chisel once…

7. Tampa, Fl:
They’re just seeing if applicants are paying attention. The second-to-last line reads "PLEASE GRAMMER/SPELL PROOF YOUR RESUME."

8. Nashville, TN

9. Santa Barbara, CA

10. Bismarck, ND

This letter from a teacher already sets off the crazy-bells for its use of all capital letters. Check out the spelling. "Thru"? "Advertizement"? [GrammarBlog is glad that SPOGG also disapproves of "thru"]

11. From a Country Kitchen restaurant in Farmville, VA

A sign that reads: vegetables like grandmas

But do they eat them raw? Or sautéed in butter?

12. From southeastern Michigan

13. Also from Southeastern Michigan:

14. San Francisco, CA

A restroom sign says, "Be Kind to Your Fellow Patron. Please Leave this Area Clean."

That airport always seemed more crowded to us.

15. Altoona, PA

Housekeeping by a part time male? Do you suppose he cleans when he’s a she?

16. White Plains, NY:

A sign in the DMV office says this:

"The use of any recording devices are strictly prohibited. This includes, but is not limited to: video cameras, camera phones, tapes recorders, etc. Failure to comply will result in confiscation of these devices and possible arrest."

Can you catch all four errors?

1. "The use... IS... prohibited."
2. The colon should be a comma, or nothing at all.
3. "Tape recorders".
4. "etc" isn't necessary.

17. Newport News, VA

Only exceptional candidates need apply.

18. Thomasville, Georgia

A large, professionally painted sign on Highway 319 says, in huge type:

DEVELOPMENT PROPRETY FOR SALE

It sounds better in a southern accent, we’re sure.

19. Portland, Oregon

Vote now!

Labels: grammar, national grammar day, spogg

Lovely, lovely Martha Brockenbrough, she of SPOGG fame and author of many wonderful MSN Encarta articles, has bullied the powers that be into holding a national grammar day in the US.

Here is one reason why she thinks they need it.

National Grammar day is on March 4th (that's what we linguists call a pun—get it?) and may or may not feature an angry, pitch-fork brandishing mob torching restaurants and shops that have grammatically incorrect signage.

Live the dream, my American cousins.

Labels: grammar, national grammar day, spogg

Christina Aguilera has dropped a sprog. Heat readers are no doubt beside themselves. I, on the other hand, couldn't really claim to give a toss if it wasn't for the grammatical error made by Xtina (does that pseudonym make anyone else get a little bit of sick in the mouth?) in her official announcement.

Dear fans,

Today is a very joyful and special day for Jordan and I as we welcome our first son into this world.

Come on Xtina (oh no, it happened again), we've covered this before. You wouldn't say, "...a special day for I," so you must use "...Jordan and me". Using "I" doesn't make it any more official.

There are some who argue that "xxx and I" (as an object) should be treated as a separate form to "I", and that because usage is increasing we should learn to live with it.

In my town, stabbings are on the increase; should we learn to accept stabbing? Should we all join in with a little stabbing of a weekend? Doesn't that sound like fun?

Thank you, Kate, for bringing this to my attention and remaining resolutely belligerent on the topic.

Labels: celebrity, Christina Aguilera, grammar

Labels: grammar, literally, wrong word

Labels: apostrophe abuse, bird in Corrie, dirty Wigan lass, grammar, guardian, you're, your

I happened upon this blog post from the Washington Post's transportation writer, Dr Gridlock. It is part of the paper's official blog.

...if you see an official looking sign at a bus shelter telling you that you can get a free ride if you're bus is late, it's a hoax.

[omitted text]

She wanted to alert riders so they don't get there hopes up about this.

Ok, it's over a year old but the main reason I'm posting this is that the comments are quite interesting. Among the commenters, two teams are quickly established; Team Grammar and Team Don't be so Picky. Team Grammar takes an early lead.

'... you can get a free ride if you're bus is late, it's a hoax.'
YOUR bus is late ...

Swiftly followed by,

'She wanted to alert riders so they don't get there hopes up about this.'
She wanted to alert riders so they don't get *their* hopes up about this.

Grammar nazis--stay home.

Posted by: IggyPop | October 26, 2006 12:59 PM

 

grammar nazis need not apply

Posted by: | October 26, 2006 12:59 PM

 

Grammar Afficionados WELCOME.

If we can't depend on the press to use our language correctly, we're doomed.

Posted by: | October 26, 2006 01:07 PM

 

Afficionados is snob language for jerk; two people agreed that the term grammar nazis was appropriate at the exact same time. Case closed!

Posted by: | October 26, 2006 01:09 PM

 

You have to be kidding to think that pointing out the incorrect use of two third grade words is Grammar Nazi behavior.

This blog reads like an elementary school paper.

If you don't want professionalism, read the Washington Times.

Posted by: Grammar Nazi | October 26, 2006 02:20 PM

I love the phrase, "Afficionados [sic] is snob language for jerk". That really cracked me up. These are just a selection of the comments I could have posted. The question is this: are we right to nit pick? After all it's only a blog post. I understand why people would get annoyed if I went through every dodgy MySpace profile or amateur blog with a fine-toothed GrammarComb™ (I want one of those please, Santa) but I don't think it's unreasonable for readers to expect good standards of grammar and punctuation from professional writers. Then again, maybe I'm just being a total aficionado.

Labels: apostrophe abuse, grammar, nazis, newspapers, their/there

As a science graduate I'm not a big fan of creationism. I have nothing against religion but I object to creationism being taught as a scientific theory in schools. This is much more of an issue in the US; especially in the mid-west and southern states where, it would appear, nearly everyone is a raving lunatic.

I've been following the story of Chris Comer, who was fired as Director of Science Curriculum for the Texas Education Agency. She forwarded an email to a group of friends and colleagues about a lecture by a leading critic of Intelligent Design. This was seen an endorsement of evolution and she was fired. That's like being fired for endorsing gravity.

An appeal is in progress that is focused on the skewed logic of this sacking. The main objection seems to be that it is wrong to interpret the forwarding of an email as an endorsement of the content. Language log commented in favour of Comer in a post. I would argue that it's wrong to fire a science teacher for condoning the teaching of science but apparently this argument doesn't hold water in Texas.

Anyway, disregarding the politics for a moment, Mr. Verb found issue with a quote from Ms. Comer reported here by the NYT:

I don’t see how I took a position by F.Y.I.-ing on a lecture like I F.Y.I. on global warming or stem-cell research,” Ms. Comer said.

To fyi, or to F.Y.I. as the Times copy editors prefer, just had to be out there … it sounds like perfect bureaucratic talk ... but I don't think I'd ever heard it and I'm pretty sure I'd never seen it in print.

Labels: grammar, justice, language, rants, verbing, wrong word

NPR writer Laura Conaway wants to know if the following paragraph, from the New York Times, can be rescued.

Yet deep down in his soul, the transplant will hold on to the notion that umbrellas are to be used only as protection against the rain, which is wet and, when it drenches the clothes and skin, makes one uncomfortable.

What do you think, gang? I'll give you all a day to offer your suggestions in the comments section, then I'll have a bash. Although to perfectly honest I don't really know where to start.

Thanks to our twitter friend, Evolution London (a.k.a. Aliya), for the link.

Labels: commas, grammar, newspapers, twitter

There was an excellent post yesterday on Mighty Red Pen explaining how to correctly use the verb 'to comprise'. I have to admit that in the past I've made the following mistake during speech.

• The sample was . . . comprised of 50 10th grade sections.
• The team . . . was comprised of educators, policy analysts, education decision makers, and researchers and consultants.

Nothing is ever ‘comprised of’ something. To comprise means ‘to contain or to embrace.’” AP Stylebook states, “Compose means to create or put together. It is commonly used in both the active and passive voices. . . . Comprise means to contain, to include all or embrace. It is best used only in the active voice.

Use comprise in the active voice. For example, 'comprises' or 'comprising' are acceptable uses.

HRH MRP finishes the post with a great quote.

At times like these, I like to end with the gentle wisdom of H.W. Fowler, who says sweetly, “This lamentably common use of comprise as a synonym for compose or constitute is a wanton and indefensible weakening of our vocabulary.”

Labels: grammar, top ten, wrong word

Our pals at The Engine Room have found a fun little gizmo that works out the reading level required for any blog on the interwebs.

I was so shocked that it took me more than 2 seconds to get annoyed with the copy on this banner. A blog can't read so how can the blog have a reading level? I think the sentence should be like so:

This blog's required reading level:

Anyway, I'm not happy. Obviously the technology is deeply flawed. I demand a Goresque re-count! Something must be done to right this wrong!

I know there are those who may think that I shouldn't take this too seriously; it's just a bit of fun; my competitive smugness is extreme to the point of being nauseous etc. To those people I say, "Hi, have we not met before?"

Traditional pedants would have a field-day with that terminal preposition but I'll push on; no time for an edit in this Kerouacian ramble. (Goresque, Kerouacian, how many more names can I mangle into the vague resemblance of an adjective?)

I was slightly heartened to see that Apostrophism was awarded the same level of reading requirement. Slightly.

P.S. Well done to J.D. and the gang at the Engine Room. I'm very fucking happy for you. See, I can be gracious. I'd also like to add that I definitely didn't run http://engineroomblog.blogspot.com through the readability test to check that you were telling the truth. Ahem.

Labels: Al Gore, friends, fun, grammar, Kerouac, rants, wrong word

A reader has emailed in.

Hi,

One of my biggest pet peeves is when people on Facebook or Myspace will put captions on their photos reading "John, Bill, and I" or "Mark and I at the beach". Shouldn't it be "John, Bill, and me"? You wouldn't show a picture to someone and say "this is I at the beach". You would say "this is me at the beach" so shouldn't you use "me" even when you add other people's names to it?
Just wanted to make sure I was correct before I jumped on my soap box.

Thanks,

Christan

'Myself' is no better than 'I' as an object. 'Myself' is not a sort of all-purpose intensive form of 'me' or 'I'. Use 'myself' only when you have used 'I' earlier in the same sentence: 'I am not particularly fond of goat cheese myself.' 'I kept half the loot for myself.'

All this confusion can easily be avoided if you just remove the second party from the sentences where you feel tempted to use “myself” as an object or feel nervous about “me.” You wouldn’t say, “The IRS sent the refund check to I,” so you shouldn’t say “The IRS sent the refund check to my wife and I” either. And you shouldn’t say “to my wife and myself.” The only correct way to say this is, “The IRS sent the refund check to my wife and me.” Still sounds too casual? Get over it.

Labels: facebook, grammar, myspace, pet peeves, pronoun, reading list, top ten

Labels: crisis of faith, grammar, video

I was recently surprised to discover that GrammarBlog lost 38 subscribers following the publishing of 'Thanx' (which contains a naughty word meaning poo). I wouldn't have thought our readers are quite so sensitive.

[Regarding] the syntactic classification of curse words. Ose’s grammatically illiterate bill not only misspelled cocksucker, motherfucker, and asshole, and misidentified them as “phrases,” it didn’t even close the loophole that it had targeted. The Clean Airwaves Act assumed that fucking is a participial adjective. But this is not correct. With a true adjective like lazy, you can alternate between 'Drown the lazy cat' and 'Drown the cat which is lazy'. But 'Drown the fucking cat' is certainly not interchangeable with 'Drown the cat which is fucking'.

If the fucking in 'fucking brilliant' is to be assigned a traditional part of speech, it would be adverb, because it modifies an adjective and only adverbs can do that, as in truly bad, very nice, and really big. Yet “adverb” is the one grammatical category that Ose forgot to include in his list! As it happens, most expletives aren’t genuine adverbs, either. One study notes that, while you can say 'That’s too fucking bad', you can’t say 'That’s too very bad'. Also, as linguist Geoffrey Nunberg pointed out, while you can imagine the dialogue 'How brilliant was it? Very', you would never hear the dialogue 'How brilliant was it? Fucking'.

Labels: Bono, grammar, guardian, profanity, Steven Pinker, video

Leaving aside the tautological content of this menu filler (why didn’t they just leave a space there? Which words could possibly add to the enjoyment of a meal apart from ‘Your meal tonight will be served by a wheelchair-bound Margaret Thatcher, who has just 15 minutes left to live. Feel free to kick her up the arse as you see fit and empty the contents of your pickle tray onto her rotting corpse’), just how did they get this so wrong?

They certainly aren’t alone. This appeared in the Guardian’s G2 section a couple of weeks back:

Oh dear.

Labels: a, an, grammar, guardian, menus

Here is the 'Till' entry in my 1955 Oxford Dictionary:

Labels: 'til, BBC, grammar, spelling, till, till death do us part, wikipedia

Open till midnight, originally uploaded by scriptingnews.

This really bugs me. Can everyone please read this next sentence carefully.

Labels: grammar, pet peeves, photos, punctuation, signage, spelling, wrong word

A trifling incident hath sometimes been the occasion of the greatest quarrels, and such as have ended fatally. I remember two gentlemen who were constant companions, disputing one evening at “Grecian” Coffee House concerning the accent of a Greek word. This dispute was carried to such a length, that the two friends thought proper to determine it with their swords. For this purpose they stepped out into Devereux Court, where one of them (whose name, if I remember, was Fitzgerald) was run thro’ the body, and died on the spot.

Labels: grammar, justice

Labels: bush, grammar, pet peeves, video