GrammarBlog

Tuesday, 13 November 2007

Pass the dictionary

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This brilliantly abstruse extract from Bizarre Notes and Queries was written in August 1890 to show "that it would be possible to write a technically grammatical sentence, which would be almost unintelligible." I found this via a blog called Grow a Brain.
Sir:— You have behaved like an impetiginous-Croyle! like those inquinate, Crass-sciolists who envious of my moral celsitude, carry their nugacity to the height of creating symposically the facund words which my polymathic genius uses with uberty to abligate the tongues of the weetless! Sir—you have crassly parodied my own pet words, as though they were tangrams. I will not coacervate reproaches—I would abduce a veil over the atramental ingratitude which has chamferred even my undicerptible heart. I am silent on the foscillation, which my coadjivancy must have given you when I offered to become your fautor and admincle. I will not speak of the lippitude, the ablepsy, you have shown in exacerbating me—one whose genius you should have approached with mental discalceation. So I tell you sir syncophically, and without supervaceneous words, nothing will render ignoscible your conduct to me. I warn you that I would vellicate your nose, if I thought that any moral diathrosis could be thereby performed—if I thought that I should not impignorate my reputation by such a digtadiation.
With a bit of care and dedication, the English language can become a very effective barrier to understanding.

GrammarBlog points will be awarded to readers who can successfully interpret some or all of this passage. Good luck.

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31 Comments:
Blogger binarytales said...

You pretend to be clever and have parodied my words without understanding what they mean.

I will not respond and will try to forget about your lack of gratitude which has hurt my usually strong heart.

I'm not going to talk about when I offered to help you or of the blindness you show in attacking me. I being someone whose genius you should have accepted easily.

So I tell you simply, nothing will make me forgive your conduct.

I might try and knock some sense into you if I thought it would not harm my reputation lowering myself to your level.

13 November 2007 at 11:13  
Blogger Gez said...

Very impressive, Binary Tales, you get 16.73 GrammarBlog points for your efforts.

13 November 2007 at 11:15  
Blogger binarytales said...

It's actually little more involved than that, there is a lot of description that obfuscates meaning, but the jist there.

13 November 2007 at 18:07  
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