Monday, 6 August 2007
I have a love/hate relationship with crappy ambiguous marketing copy. I love it because it's useful for duping the masses; I hate it because it's used for duping the masses. I love it when you read a snappy phrase that sounds great; I hate it because it doesn't mean anything. I love it because when it's done badly the results can be hilarious.
Take this list of ambiguous newspaper headlines for instance. My personal favourites are listed below.
Children's Stool Great for Use in Garden
Brings the rhubarb up a treat.
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
What an image!
Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead
Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Brutally ironic justice.
Prostitutes appeal to Pope
At least he's honest.
Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
She's trying her hardest.
Enraged cow injures farmer with ax
Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
Stating the bleeding obvious.
Miners refuse to work after death
Union power gone mad.
Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
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