GrammarBlog

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Poor Wee Peter

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This isn’t strictly a spelling and grammar entry, I just like it. I like all three of the story headlines for the possibilities they conjure up: Did the zebra kick Peter, then try to get into a fight? Did the hair perform mouth to mouth? Was a ‘club woman’ a version of a clubbed foot? Imagine that.

It’s from a copy of the Daily Record dated Monday June 1st, 1970, found inside a cardboard box. I love the whole thing and keep it in my desk drawer to cheer me up. It’s nice that tabloid newspapers have changed in some ways, but really they have stayed the same (Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose, to be pretentious about it).

That’s all.

Labels: headlines, tabloids, vague

posted by Dan at 10:05 am 6 Comments

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Saturday, 11 August 2007

A Positive Connection?

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I hate it when instructions aren't clear. If a product manufacturer or a service provider has a limited number of words with which to instruct a customer, those words should be chosen carefully. Unlike this example from a London underground ticket machine.

...until you feel a positive connection.

What the hell is that supposed to mean? Is it referring to an emotional or spiritual connection? How much does Ken Livingstone expect me to feel for his overcrowded, sweaty, inefficient transport system?

Labels: instructions, marketing copy, vague

posted by Gez at 11:57 am 1 Comments

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Monday, 6 August 2007

Soviet virgin lands short of goal again

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I have a love/hate relationship with crappy ambiguous marketing copy. I love it because it's useful for duping the masses; I hate it because it's used for duping the masses. I love it when you read a snappy phrase that sounds great; I hate it because it doesn't mean anything. I love it because when it's done badly the results can be hilarious.

Take this list of ambiguous newspaper headlines for instance. My personal favourites are listed below.

Children's Stool Great for Use in Garden
Brings the rhubarb up a treat.

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
What an image!

Reagan Wins On Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers
Brutally ironic justice.

Prostitutes appeal to Pope
At least he's honest.

Panda mating fails; Veterinarian takes over
That's dedication.

Soviet virgin lands short of goal again
She's trying her hardest.

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax

Plane too close to ground, crash probe told
Stating the bleeding obvious.

Miners refuse to work after death
Union power gone mad.

Never withhold herpes infection from loved one
Nice.

Labels: funny, headlines, marketing copy, vague

posted by Gez at 1:21 pm 2 Comments

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