Friday, 25 April 2008
London, bloody London
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London is many things to me: it's a place I can visit to have my identity as a northerner emphatically reaffirmed; it's a place I associate with Wembley heartbreak; and now, it's my number one grammar tourism hotspot.
Extremely pleased with what I had found whilst looking upwards, as I continued along the pavement the very next window of the same shop led me to an orgasm that only a misplaced apostrophe can induce:
How I howled with joy. Two separate cases of apostrophe abuse within two metres of each other. A veritable crime wave. Amongst the local King’s Cross scenery of whores and smack, I was finding my own seedy gratification. Hedonism gone mad.
I was in London, since you ask, for the quite excellent Camden Crawl. With so many bands to choose from, I was forced to eliminate first those whose names made a little bit of sick appear in my mouth. These I list for you:
Thecocknbullkid [you are cocksntwats]
Does It Offend You, Yeah? [everything that’s wrong with everything]
Lets Wrestle [if that apostrophe error wasn’t bad enough, then I give you their song ‘I wont lie to you’]
Operator Please [‘Operator, Please’ surely?]
Innerpartysystem [just fuck off]
However, I was drawn inexorably towards:
Wrong and brilliant, on every level.
Extremely pleased with what I had found whilst looking upwards, as I continued along the pavement the very next window of the same shop led me to an orgasm that only a misplaced apostrophe can induce:
How I howled with joy. Two separate cases of apostrophe abuse within two metres of each other. A veritable crime wave. Amongst the local King’s Cross scenery of whores and smack, I was finding my own seedy gratification. Hedonism gone mad.
I was in London, since you ask, for the quite excellent Camden Crawl. With so many bands to choose from, I was forced to eliminate first those whose names made a little bit of sick appear in my mouth. These I list for you:
Thecocknbullkid [you are cocksntwats]
Does It Offend You, Yeah? [everything that’s wrong with everything]
Lets Wrestle [if that apostrophe error wasn’t bad enough, then I give you their song ‘I wont lie to you’]
Operator Please [‘Operator, Please’ surely?]
Innerpartysystem [just fuck off]
However, I was drawn inexorably towards:
Wrong and brilliant, on every level.
Labels: apostrophe abuse, bands, camden crawl, fuckshovel, swearing, Wembley
posted by Dan at 11:16 am
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4 Comments:
Great, great band name. And I'm happy to believe that the typeface was chosen ironically.
Funnily enough, they sounded like their name, if that makes any sense.
I caught them last year at the Hay on Wye literary festival and they got Iain Banks on stage to drink his own vomit. Amazing band.
Pop fact. They used to be called The Gay Lords.
"they got Iain Banks on stage to drink his own vomit. Amazing band"
Extraordinary.
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