Friday, 25 April 2008
London, bloody London
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London is many things to me: it's a place I can visit to have my identity as a northerner emphatically reaffirmed; it's a place I associate with Wembley heartbreak; and now, it's my number one grammar tourism hotspot.
Extremely pleased with what I had found whilst looking upwards, as I continued along the pavement the very next window of the same shop led me to an orgasm that only a misplaced apostrophe can induce:
How I howled with joy. Two separate cases of apostrophe abuse within two metres of each other. A veritable crime wave. Amongst the local King’s Cross scenery of whores and smack, I was finding my own seedy gratification. Hedonism gone mad.
I was in London, since you ask, for the quite excellent Camden Crawl. With so many bands to choose from, I was forced to eliminate first those whose names made a little bit of sick appear in my mouth. These I list for you:
Thecocknbullkid [you are cocksntwats]
Does It Offend You, Yeah? [everything that’s wrong with everything]
Lets Wrestle [if that apostrophe error wasn’t bad enough, then I give you their song ‘I wont lie to you’]
Operator Please [‘Operator, Please’ surely?]
Innerpartysystem [just fuck off]
However, I was drawn inexorably towards:
Wrong and brilliant, on every level.
Extremely pleased with what I had found whilst looking upwards, as I continued along the pavement the very next window of the same shop led me to an orgasm that only a misplaced apostrophe can induce:
How I howled with joy. Two separate cases of apostrophe abuse within two metres of each other. A veritable crime wave. Amongst the local King’s Cross scenery of whores and smack, I was finding my own seedy gratification. Hedonism gone mad.
I was in London, since you ask, for the quite excellent Camden Crawl. With so many bands to choose from, I was forced to eliminate first those whose names made a little bit of sick appear in my mouth. These I list for you:
Thecocknbullkid [you are cocksntwats]
Does It Offend You, Yeah? [everything that’s wrong with everything]
Lets Wrestle [if that apostrophe error wasn’t bad enough, then I give you their song ‘I wont lie to you’]
Operator Please [‘Operator, Please’ surely?]
Innerpartysystem [just fuck off]
However, I was drawn inexorably towards:
Wrong and brilliant, on every level.
Labels: apostrophe abuse, bands, camden crawl, fuckshovel, swearing, Wembley
posted by Dan at 11:16 am
4 Comments
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