Tuesday, 16 September 2008

Student's for McCain

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I don't know if any of you are aware of this, but there is quite an important election approaching in the US of America. The media are keeping quiet about it but I managed to get the scoop. Apparently there is a guy called Derek Obama who seems to be the answer to all the world's problems. He's clever, has sensible sounding policies and seems like a good guy. Of course he'll probably end up being the US version of Tony Blair i.e. just another smooth-talking careerist politician. Except he won't get in because his name sounds vaguely Muslim and the landlocked bits of America wouldn't stand for that even if he was white.

And then there's this other guy, McBain, who was in 'Nam but he doesn't like to talk about it (YOU WEREN'T THERE, MAN!). He's 94 years old and needs helping out of the bath by his gun-toting, rabidly right-wing nurse, Sarah Palin. Her MySpace page lists her likes as "Killing, judging, lipstick, drilling for oil, Keeping America SafeTM and Jesus" and her dislikes as "Science, logic, kindness, the environment, homosexuals and that scrote who pregged-up my daughter".

I hope Derek Obama wins; allow me to explain why.

Firstly, on a selfish level, I don't live in the USA and my chances of being bombed to death would be greatly reduced if Obama was in charge.

Secondly, the Daily Kos reported on this example of punctuation butchery in McCain's campaign store.
Student's for McCain
Pass me the bamboo skewers, that wrinkly bastard is about to have a very realistic flashback.

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Blogger Jeremy said...

That pen is so sad, yet so funny.

On the last day of the Republican National Convention, was touting Republican-themed products on its front page, one of them with a similar problem:

16 September 2008 at 13:22  
Anonymous T said...

hahaha, what an excellent summary of the political landscape here in america. well done

16 September 2008 at 13:44  
Blogger Gez said...

Thanks T, I think that just about covers it.

I like to be sensitive and impartial about these things. After all, I wouldn't want to be on the receiving end of some of the cutting and insightful criticism that Russell Brand received for his comments at the MTV VMAs.

16 September 2008 at 17:58  
Blogger Pastor_Jeff said...

Pass me the bamboo skewers, that wrinkly bastard is about to have a very realistic flashback.


That was beyond classless, and not even being mildly funny.

16 September 2008 at 23:22  
Blogger Pastor_Jeff said...

Oh, sorry. In editing my comment, I inadvertently left in the word "being."

Grammar is important to me, too, but I hope my unintentional error doesn't merit torture by the Vietcong for 5+ years.

16 September 2008 at 23:27  
Anonymous Gez said...

Hi Jeff,

I was quite proud of that line, it was snappy, impactful, and poked fun at a politician. I toyed with a line involving a car battery and genital electrocution but couldn't quite get it to scan.

Honestly, I wasn't suggesting that McBain retrospectively deserved his time as a POW because of recent punctuation misdemeanours; that would be ridiculous. I was only suggesting that a spot of light torture might ensure that he hires a couple of proof readers in future.

I wasn't being serious with my threat (I've looked into it and he's quite well protected); I merely used the line to provide a little humour.

It appears that torture jokes don't go down well with vicars. Consider that fact duly noted.

17 September 2008 at 11:03  
Blogger David Niall Wilson said...

Come on Pastor_Jeff ... it was AT LEAST mildly funny...


17 September 2008 at 12:07  
Blogger brooke said...

Are you really a Pastor, Jeff?

17 September 2008 at 15:10  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


22 September 2008 at 06:34  
Blogger Dave said...

Entirely forgivable, it made me laugh - in my opinion, that makes it worthwhile.

23 September 2008 at 12:21  

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