Thursday, 24 January 2008
Hanson talks balls
I am the proud manager of a hugely unsuccessful Fantasy Football team with the Daily Telegraph. The venerable Alan Hansen is the resident celebrity pundit and earns his endorsement fee by writing (or maybe just approving ) the odd email newsletter.
We're used to sports pundits talking rubbish, but this email takes the half-time orange.
The one good thing about being a TFF manager as opposed to the real thing is at least you shouldn't get the sack. Newcastle have about as much patience as a closed down hospital and so Big Sam Allardyce has now been reduced to something a lot smaller.
Pardon, Alan? Have you been at the scotch?
Firstly, the verbal pun on patience/patients doesn't really work written down, especially as the use of the determiner 'much' isn't appropriate for the alternate meaning. You can't say a hospital has much patients. However the funniest aspect of this garbled paragraph is the implication that Sam Allardyce used to be bigger than a closed down hospital. I suppose that would justify the nickname Big Sam.
Anyone familiar with BBC football coverage will be aware that, due to Hansen's favourite sitting position – slouched and splayed, his modifiers are not the only things to be seen dangling.
Labels: dangling modifiers, determiners, newspapers, Pundrity
posted by Gez at 5:51 pm
0 Comments
Monday, 31 December 2007
The Scottish Football Pundit's Dictionary, Part 3
Another superb effort by Andy Gray on last night's The Last Word.
Whilst discussing Blackburn Rovers striker Roque Santa Cruz's talents for off-the-ball movement, Gray deployed the following sentence:
From time to time, he's always on the move.
Would... you... believe it... Richard.
posted by Tom at 12:50 pm
21 Comments
Saturday, 1 September 2007
The Scottish Football Pundit's Dictionary, Part 2
Another wonderful entry, introduced by Craig Burley during Setanta Sports' coverage of the Man Utd vs Sunderland game on Saturday:
Incise (adjective):
A combination of 'incisive' and 'precise'; typically used to describe particularly effective attacking play.
Labels: Pundrity
posted by Tom at 9:03 pm
1 Comments
Sunday, 19 August 2007
Unbelievable, Richard
There's no argument over the fact that Andy Gray is the best football pundit on British television.
Tonight, on Sky Sports' peerless The Last Word, he surpassed himself with two wonderful additions to the English language:
Evolvement (noun):
A sporting alternative to 'evolution'; typically used to describe a measurable development in an individual's sporting prowess.
Unexplicable (adjective):
A sporting alternative to 'inexplicable'; deployed when criticising poor defending or egregious refereeing decisions.
posted by Tom at 10:54 pm
1 Comments
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